tramitem_log | Do you believe in magic?

Entry tags:

Do you believe in magic?

Who: Alec, Fell, Elliot and whomever else
What: "Magic" testing
When: June 11th
Where: Meeting room

He's cleared out a space, shoving all the metal chairs and plastic tables to the side so there was plenty of room. He had thought of adding a sarcastic bucket of water but decided that it might be too confrontational. Things were going to be confrontational enough since he told Elliot and Fell different times and Fell would put up a fuss about but-- but it was better than him hovering over everything and being overly concerned. Alec was older than him and Anthony too. He could take care of himself.

He briefly checked his watch before folding his arms and leaning against the wall. He hoped others showed up but he doubted there would be much to see-- memories were one thing but this was still real life for fuck's sake.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

He didn't expect Alec to defend him. That surprised him nearly more than how wet the floor was.

"Y-yes," he said, turning and veering straight for the chairs stacked up across the room. Carefully, carefully, giving his mind something else to focus on as he went.

Elliott brought the chair back, setting it near them and pushing wet hair out of his face.

"I tried to help, but he won't let me heal him."

"Oh will you stop fussing. I'm fine." But he lets himself be taken and sat in a chair while he compulsively loosens his tie.

"And don't talk about me like I'm not in the room. It's fine. I'm fine. Let it go." This was why he'd told Fell to come later. He felt like he was being slowly suffocated by pigeons.

"Well, I guess I understand." Magical healing provided a host of possible issues. But Alec was refusing first aid, too, so that was another thing entirely.

He stomped his foot, splashing a bit of water with the step. "No! I'm not letting it go. You invited me here, and if you really did not want someone to witness your poor choices and clean up after them, you wouldn't have included me in the first place." He was convinced that Alec could have just as easily never updated Aziraphale on his activities or provided a time and place. "Your self-destructive tendencies are getting out of hand, Alec, and I need you to understand that."

"Sorry," Elliott said again, stepping away from the pair. It felt like he was intruding on a conversation he maybe shouldn't really be part of.

"I'll um, go see if I can find a way to stop the sprinklers."

He flushed and folded his arms, then had to unfold them, gritting his teeth.

"I had to know, alright. I had to understand. To see if it was real. But you and Anthony want to put me in bubble wrap like I'm bloody china. Maybe I should just go back to Edinburgh so mum can put me in a care home. That way no one will have to pretend to worry about me." He regretted the words as soon as he said them, if only because he knew they weren't pretending but now it would be this whole thing of aching sincerity.

Shit.

"The hell of it is I still don't fucking believe it." It was frustrating. There was something wrong with him. Broken somehow. Maybe he was the freak here. The oddball. The one who didn't belong.

He gently took Alec's hands in his own, one at a time, examining them for injury. Aziraphale cradled the burned one and thought about the aloe burn salve and bandages in his kit. He should go get it, tend to the wound. The skin was red and blistery from the burns, but part of him was a little scared leaving Alec would give him a chance to run off.

"Please don't. I'd miss you something terrible." Perhaps he could try to be more considerate of Alec's autonomy and not be so protective, even if it felt like second nature.

Someone had to question everything, because they were already well on their way to believing themselves Demons and Luminaries, and rock-stars and space warriors... He could see, however, how lonely and isolating that path must be. "Objects are appearing, we are obtaining abilities we didn't have. That is undeniably real--it is happening to us, physically and against our consent. But the why and how of this is still unknown, and I've always admired your determination to not give over your faith blindly. Maybe we need you to doubt and question for us, and if so, I'm sorry for the burden that puts on you."

The sprinklers shut off only steps away, but at least he could somewhat effectively pretend not to be paying attention to the conversation at hand.

His eyes scanned the room, then caught sight of the tripod and camera with a sharp breath.

"Oh no," he said, rushing for the drenched bit of tech to see if it could be salvaged.

Edited 2020-06-15 04:58 (UTC)

No, don't touch him like that. Don't say things like that. It makes his skin prickle. His heart is already sore enough. He doesn't even want what he wants and a large part of him knows it's only the face, it's only the body, it's only the voice. If he looked like anyone else, if he was related to anyone else, it wouldn't matter so much.

He looked through damp bangs at the man, absorbing his words, feeling both vindicated and frustrated by them. Keep clawing at the brick wall, it said. Don't give up. There will be nothing for you at the end, but maybe someone will get a boost over. But that was good. That was fine. If all he could provide was a boost then maybe in some part he'd had a life worth living.

"It's nothing." And it wasn't.

He watched Elliot cross concerned over to the camera and stood up, weaving a bit and putting a hand on Fell's shoulder to steady himself, then straightening and moving past him to the kid.

"Thank you," he said, and meant it. "For putting up with all that. And sorry for scaring the piss out of you. You gave me what I needed and I'm grateful for it. But take care. Try not to be consumed by this. Keep at least one foot in this..." Reality seemed like a trigger word.

"... safer world. Just until we know more."

Aziraphale wanted to draw Alec into a hug, brush his wet hair from his eyes, wrap him in a warm blanket to dry off, and reassure him. It was clearly unwanted, despite however much he was convinced Alec needed some tenderness and affection. He reached out as Alec stepped away, hand hanging useless in the air for a second after, gazing sadly at his back.

A safer world. Was it safer, though, this reality, when they were dealing with the Bureau either way?

He offered any thanks to Elliott wordlessly and with a soft smile, grateful if Elliott had helped Alec get at least a little of what he needed out of this whole exercise. Letting the two have their moment together, he then reached out for the sleeve of Alec's wet shirt with earnest, pleading affection.

"Come. Let me put something on your hand, my dear. We can sit outside and let you dry off."

Elliott straightened, then stared. The tone itself surprised him, and the words took several more to process. A slow smile began to stretch over his face, like a hard battle finally won.

"I will," he promised, heart easing. "Whatever happened in that life is already done. This world is the one I have to worry about, now."

He caught Mr. Fell's eyes and ducked his head again, though the man had exchanged his accusing look for gratitude.

"I don't think your camera made it, though."

Hand, arm up to the elbow. He didn't want it. But he did because it was starting to burn like the blazes. He watched the relief spread over Elliott's face, unsure of what to make of it. He was glad at least the boy would remain somewhat sensible about the whole thing. Even if a little, it would be more than enough.

He groaned and tugged a hand through his hair as the state of the camera was pronounced.

"Oh for fuck's sake. You would think these could be made waterproof." He gave Elliott a beleaguered look, ignoring Fell's tugging for now. "Don't think you could heal that, could you?"

Digital machines were always so feisty about water and the slightest bumps, frankly one of the reasons Aziraphale never really trusted them farther than he could throw one. Hopefully they could salvage it, even if the proof of their efforts was on Alec's skin.

Ignored, he reluctantly (and a little huffily) let Alec go to cross over to the camera himself, giving the thing a pout as if it might come around if he coaxed it enough. Though he suspected he'd have about as much luck fussing over the camera as he had with coaxing Alec to let him bandage his hand.

"I'm sure it's not entirely lost," he said with a certainty born of absolutely no expertise in the matter, but meant to reassure. He circled the tripod and Elliott, hands waving a little at the ridiculous Camcorder thing. "Don't you just-- I mean, what is it you do? Put it in rice?"

He laughed. "What- heal the camera? I don't think it works on things like that."

Elliott stretched his hand out, the tattoo on the back of his hand lighting up as a faint green light suffused his fingertips.

"I don't think I've ever heard about rice actually working."

He shook his head, glow fading and hand lowering. "I might be able to retrieve the video file off the phone's internal storage if the port isn't shorted out."

That glow made him queasy somehow. It looked like tech. Like some big budget movie CGI. Or as if there was a port hidden under his skin. He felt uneasy around it in a way he couldn't describe and it send the hair rising on the back of his neck.

He staunchly ignored it.

"Well if you can save anything from it-- video file... disc-- They don't do that any more, do they? Something. If not I suppose we'll just have to bin it." A waste of money, perhaps, but he had no one to blame but himself for that.

His damp sleeve moved uncomfortably against his arm and he pulled in a breath before he could help it.

If rice didn't work, he didn't know anything more about the tech than Alec. Shame about the camera if it was a lost cause, though.

He narrowed his eyes as Alec made that intake of breath. Why did the bloody moron insist on suffering in silence when he could just accept offered help? If he was concerned about burdening people, this was far less of a burden than letting it become infected!

"If you won't let me bandage it, at least put something on your hand yourself," he insisted testily, going to retrieve and riffle through the bag of first aid supplies, kneeling on the damp floor. "Ridiculous, stubborn man. I loathe you sometimes. I swear. Your determination to be some kind of... Self-sacrificing. Stoic. Island of a man. Unwilling to accept help from others--" He pulled a roll of bandages and a tube of burn ointment with aloe from the pack. "Don't learn from him, please, Elliott. People are not meant to shoulder everything alone. People are meant to care about one another, and be allowed to help. Self-sufficiency is all well-and-good, but--"

He didn't actually have a concluding remark and gave an angry huff instead. What was that about respecting Alec's autonomy and not being so protective? Ah, well, resolutions to start another day, another time.

He met Alec's eyes, knowing better than to ask now, but still wishing he could help.

"I'll do my best to salvage it."

Elliott fidgeted then while Mr. Fell fussed with supplies. He gave the man's back a faint smile, then held out his hand to Alec.

"I feel like we should start over. I'm Elliott. Elliott Naeuri."

"Alright, alright. You and Anthony, bloody hens the pair of you." Even as he said that, even as he knew the truth that no one would say, he couldn't help but find it a little endearing how fussy Fell was being.

He was a little amused by Elliot's actions too.

"Alec Crowley." He took his hand with professionalism. "Call me Crowley. I'll still annoy the piss out of you more often than not and we won't be friends. But I respect you and that'll have to be enough."

It was better to lay all the cards on the table before anyone had a chance to hope and then be disappointed.

His mouth settled into a grim little line at the comment about not being friends, even though it wasn't directed at him. Yes, don't enjoy any fantastical delusions about maybe being friends and enjoying each other's company; that way lead to madness--and yet? He knowingly continued to throw himself at it, as if hoping tfor something to finally stick.

He offered over the first aid supplies to Alec before he began re-collecting his things.

"I'll be outside." Drying off in the sun. Honestly, wet clothes were just a nightmare. And probably placing a call to Anthony. "Should you decide I'm needed."

Elliott gave his hand a good shake, though his smile slipped a bit. Crowley. Right.

Still, having the man's respect was more than he'd ever dared to hope for when he'd agreed to meet him today.

"I'm glad I could help."

He let go and stepped back, then watched Mr. Fell turn to leave with the feeling that something else was going on that he couldn't fully grasp.

"I'll let you know of I can salvage the video file from the camera- and.. I'm still sorry about the burn."

Oh Fell. Alec sighed inwardly, wondering if he should even let it get this far. The man would never be satisfied he had the feeling. Neither would Elliott, he noted, watching the boy's expression change.

That was life.

"It's nothing."

Starting to throb like anything but nothing he couldn't handle. He nodded then and since he had nothing to add, left to find Fell. Thankfully he didn't seem to have gone far which was good as he was starting to feel that typical weariness that followed a shock.

"I could use your help." And then because it might not be clear. "With the arm."

Aziraphale was just outside sunning himself off, trying to get the irritating itch of faint dampness out of his clothing. He looked over when the door opened, and then looked quickly away with a prim sniff at the request.

This was their friendship, then, was it? Aziraphale needed help, and Alec came to the rescue (in his understated, maybe a little bit gallant sort of way). And Aziraphale, when he wanted to offer help, had to badger and beat Alec over the head with it until he relented or withdrew entirely. They were really a very unbalanced ...whatever they were. Not friends, apparently.

"Alright," he agreed with a sigh, holding out a hand for the first aid supplies and to inspect Alec's injury. "Let me see it."

Elliott watched him go, then freed the camera from its rigging, brushing off spots of water as he did. He spared a look around at all the water, not quite sure what to do or say about it if anything.

In the end, he simply left and hoped no one had anything scheduled before it was all cleared up.

Elliott paused outside to wave to Mr. Fell and Crowley, then started on his way home with a sigh. He'd have to explain this to his mom when he got home.

It really wasn't a friendship, was it? Even now Alec was keenly aware that he was doing Fell a favor by letting him fuss. He didn't know how to end it really. He didn't think he should let it go on. So long as Fell was with Anthony it would be present and Alec hoped they remained together for a good long while.

He nodded to Elliott when he left, and then when they were alone.

"You deserve better than this."

Because it was true.

Aziraphale raised a hand to give a cheery wave, because of anyone, Elliott deserved better than he had gotten from this afternoon. The young man certainly didn't deserve to be bogged down by whatever complications existed between Aziraphale and Alec.

And then they were alone.

He gave another sigh and tried not to roll his eyes. "Next you'll be saying 'It's not you, it's me.' Can I please just tend to your hand?"

It was both of them really, and this whole big bloody thing. He gave him his arm as requested and the burn went all the way up to his elbow. He was really going to regret that happening

"Why do you put up with it?"

Do you believe in magic?

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)

(no subject)