tramitem_log | The Dinner From Hell

Entry tags:

The Dinner From Hell

Who: Anthony, Alec, and one poor Angel
What: The Dinner from Hell
Where: San Marzano
When: May 25th
Warnings: Family Drama

Dramatis Personae

Anthony's side
Mum <-> Evelyn
Big Sis <->Lilith
Big Bro <-> Oliver

Alec's side
Mum <-> Irene
Step-Father <-> Rufus

Father <-> Alistair
Father's Fiancee <-> Camilla

Aziraphale's side

Regret <-> Everything

((further details here)))

[At last their plates have arrived, but no one is talking much. Evelyn sits at one head of the packed table, Irene at the other. The twins not cousins are jammed shoulder to shoulder, trapped against a wall, but at least Fell is on the other side. Bonus, room to escape. Drawback? Trapped between Lilith on one side and Camilla on the other who alters between breathing too deeply around her soon to be step-nephew and stealing all the breadsticks before Fell can get to them.

To make a long story short, the seating goeth thusly:

About the time that the salads and soups come out, Alistair clears his throat and knocks Anthony in the ribs]

Alistair: So what about this Lisa girl, eh? I hear she's a real looker.

[Alec just shoots him a look like who the hell is this now?]

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Aziraphale: [almost chokes on his sip of water trying not to laugh. Sorry, Anthony.]

Anthony: [ It was debated pointing across the table and saying, 'She's right over there, drowning on some distilled,' but instead he opted for the more tried and true method that usually got him out of these messes. ]

I'm Alec.

[ He pointed at actual Alec. ]

He's Anthony.

Alec: [a flat look. They weren't even wearing the same suit. He sipped his water and said in a dry voice] Lisa better be about five ten with white hair and blue eyes and a propensity for fluttering about or I'm disowning you.

[awkward silence]

Alistair: [huge laugh as he smacks Anthony's back] You're such a kidder. I'll show you mine if you show me yours eh? Look at that bikini body. [he'll show Anthony a pic on his phone]

Camilla: Oh, Allie! Don't! [giggle. Blush]

Irene: No pornography at the table.

Alec: [looks like he wouldn't mind another heart attack]

Aziraphale: [That was terrible, Anthony. How could you do that to poor, sweet, innocent Alec and somehow also make those childish antics seem so attractive? He had half a mind to kick Anthony for it under the table. But Aziraphale was adult, really, unlike someone he knew, and wasn't about to stoop so slow. So the kick wasn't very hard.

He gave Alec a look.] I do not flutter. I fuss.

Anthony: [ With the phone shoved under his nose he had little option but to look at the photos of his Uncle's new squeeze, which cut short his friendly glare at Alec. It would be too difficult to explain that one, surrounded by crazies at the dinner table! Anyway, some one had kicked him... instinctively he sat up a little straighter but mum was too far away and Lilith would have kicked him a lot harder, Fell then? Dreaming of a game of footsie his eyes sought out Aziraphale's and he couldn't prevent the small wry smile from breaking through. ] Yeah, I don't have any pinup shots of 'Lisa' yet... Maybe she'll get around to sending a few?

Lilith: I heard you were in the art world, Mr. Fell, is that what you do...
[ She took her time cutting a delicate piece of meat with her knife. ] Take pornographic photos?

Oliver: [ Who was only a chairs length away simply leaned forward so his glare could squarely land on the intruder, clearly projecting, 'That better not be what you've been doing with my little brother!' ]

Edited 2020-05-28 16:54 (UTC)

Aziraphale: [Anthony was given a look, but his shin was spared. In front of your family. Really.] Goodness, no. I restore art. Paintings mostly. There's something very appealing about making sure a new generation can enjoy and connect to a past through art for years to come. It's like a privilege. Some are real works of art, even if they're not famous. Just not really the kind old men like to share and giggle about on their phones.

Alec: [while he was impressed with Fell's aplomb, he saw Oliver's warning glare and was tempted to kick him under the table but refrained. Instead he rubbed a hand over his face.] Can we please stop talking about pornography?

Rufus: I concur. Son.

Alec: [grimaces]

Irene: Your father started it. Anyway-I hope you're eating more than a salad. You need nutrition.

Alec: Oh, Mum, back off.

Irene: Someone has to look after you and since you won't look after yourself I will.

Rufus: Dear, maybe you should--

Irene: Shut up. [to the waiter] Bring some shrimp scampi for my son.

Alec: I don't bloody want it.

Irene: You're going to eat it regardless.

Alistiar: [aside to Anthony] And you wonder why we got divorced. [and then he taps the side of his nose, straightens and says] So, Mr. Fell, how long have you and Alec been dating?

[no word from Alec save for his utterly red face being buried in his hands and whispering fuck me]

Aziraphale: [His face turns red and he gives serious consideration to absconding with the bread rolls and disappearing forever. Dining with Crowleys has historically been a bad idea, and Aziraphale has no idea why he agreed to this in the first place. Why is it so warm in here?]

[He looks up at Anthony and thinks, stubbornly, YOU started this. If you had just cleared it up instead of compounding the problem...! Don't think for one second that Alec or I will save you from this mess YOU made-- And feeling a little spiteful...]

[Overly sweetly, and looking squarely at Anthony, who had not long ago jokingly claimed to be Alec]: I don't know, Alec dear, how long HAS it been?

Anthony: [ His head slowly tilted as he met that stare. What you think he hasn't made the attempt to straighten all this out? You want to see what happens when he tries?? Alright then, watch closely! ]

Two weeks, three days, nine hours and...

[ His eyes drifted to his watch to get the most accurate time. ]

Forty-three seconds. That's how long Aziraphale and I have been dating.

Lilith: [ Stabbed at a piece of veil on her plate. ]

Anthony: There's no Lisa. [ He turned slightly in his chair to address Alistair. ] You misunderstood me and went flying off in the wrong direction. Aziraphale is my boyfriend, not Alec's.

Lilith: It's nice that you were able to pick up again so quickly after breaking breaking Grace's heart.

Anthony: Don't you start.

Lilith: [ But start she did, favoring Aziraphale with an icy dangerous look. ] Grace is a friend of mine. I introduced them. Do you have any idea how upsetting it is to go from planning a wedding to comforting a distraught friend who is crying on your shoulder? I don't know what you did to come between them... but I don't trust you, Mr. Fell.

Evelyn: [ Her fork clinked lightly off the side of her wine glass causing it to ring loud enough to hopefully gain the entire groups attention. ] Everyone, please... this is supposed to be a nice family dinner. I can't remember the last time we were all together like this.

Anthony: [ Liberated a few of Alec's shrimp during the distraction leaving only the tails behind so it looked like his cousin had eaten them. ]

Evelyn: We should enjoy the time we have and thank Mr. Fell for agreeing to join us. It has to unsettling meeting the family like this and so soon after picking up with Anthony, but I promise you we don't bite.

Oliver: [ Had been fairly quiet this whole time decided to pipe up then. ] Not very hard anyway.

Evelyn: I'm just really grateful we've all been brought together again.

Alec: [he rubbed his face and noted with some relief that Anthony had liberated some shrimp. Out of gratitude he didn't liberate his cousin's wine like he'd been trying to do all evening.]

[There is a moment of tense silence, words unsaid left hanging in the air. But a Crowley can never let anything lie for long, even if they were only a Crowley by former marriage.]

Irene: Anthony's disgraceful actions are of no interest to me. I know how Crowley men are. Always chasing after the shiny and new when you get the faintest hint of commitment. [To Camilla] It will happen to you too, deary. So you can stop making eyes at Oliver like a dog after a bone.

[Camilla goes crimson and excuses herself to the lady's room]

Alistair: You-- [he looks like he wants to get up as well but is trapped by the wall behind them]

Irene: But I am grateful that I was brought here to see the disaster you've put my son into. [it was hard to tell if she was looking at Alistair or Anthony] You can keep however many whores you like as far as I'm concerned, but I--

Alec: Oh, Mum, shut up.

Irene: I beg your pardon? [her face is white and beside her Rufus makes a noise of concern while Alistair nearly drops his glass]

Alec: Stop hurting everyone else with the words you only mean for one person. The only reason you're here is to rip Dad's throat out and the only reason Dad is here [he added before Alistair can add fuel to the fire] is to show off his fiancee. I mean you divorced decades ago, for Christ's sake. Let it go.

Irene: [opens her mouth. closes it] Fine. You're a man now as everyone keeps saying and like a man you think you know everything. [she slapped her napkin down on the table] Don't expect me to come running the next time you have a heart attack. [and she got up and stalked away]

Rufus: She didn't mean that... Honey, wait! [and he went after her]

[in the wave of silence after that, Alistair muttered a very impolite word into his wine glass and Alec shook his head]

Alec: Come on, Dad. Let's get out of here. I'll buy you a drink. [and leave the rest of the family that actually cared about one another to a relatively peaceful meal.

Relatively since Lilith still looked ready to tear Anthony's head off and shove it back up his arse]

Oliver: [ Ever the strong silent type he had dived into his own wine glass but now that the fight club had gone he looked up. ] Was she really looking me over?

Evelyn: [ Just sighed. ] So much for getting everyone together...

Lilith: [ Simply raised her glass in toast to Fell, thinking that now he might just reconsider being a home wrecker. ] Welcome to the family.

Evelyn: Should we even have dessert or should we just call the evening a wash?

Anthony: Probably for the best if we call for some cabs, isn't it? Leave some extra hazard pay for the servers...

[ Some where a crash was heard which sounded like a glass shattered against tiles... which may or may not have been related to the family drama. It was difficult to tell from here. ]

Anyone have a hundred?

Aziraphale: [Overwhelmed and a little unprepared for the level of accusations thrown both his way and around the table, he stays mostly quiet, somewhat cowed now and unsure if even addressing Lilith with a sympathetic word would be a good idea. He would hate to anger her further, being that he's sitting right next to her. There's really no good way to defend what happened to someone who cares so much for Grace, and maybe she's not entirely wrong. He is a home wrecker. And that's wrong, and he feels awful for what they did to Grace...and yet. Well.

He fishes out his wallet and silently hands over the hundred across the table to Anthony.]

Alec: [rises and puts his hand over Fell's] Keep it. You're a good man. The thing is love comes in unexpected ways, in unexpected forms. [he looks at Lilith specifically] And sometimes what we think we should want isn't what we really want. And what we want for others isn't always best for them, even if we think we know what's best.

It doesn't make it fair. It maybe doesn't even make it right. People got hurt and people will suffer-- but [a sigh] better to suffer a little now then live with something that isn't right in your heart or your mind.

[he squeezes Fell's hand under his and puts seventy-five down which isn't much. Then gestures with his head]

Come on, Dad.

Alistair: [swallows and pats Anthony's shoulders] Maybe we'll catch tea next time. Sorry, Evie. [and then a nod.] Lilly-girl. Oliver. [once out of sight of the family he'll say] I'd better find Camilla. [and wander toward the rest rooms.]

[Alec slips out into the night and heads for the subway. Everyone needs some time, he supposes, to be alone and think]

Aziraphale: [incredibly touched. What has he ever done to deserve you in his life?] Oh, Alec...

Anthony: [ It broke his heart a little to see Fell pulling the money out of his wallet and it wouldn't be taken... not by him or by anyone here. But neither could he save the man. It seemed he was the one always getting Aziraphale into trouble and Alec was the one always getting him out of it again. Fitting he supposed, as he certainly felt like the grand screw up that he was.

Anthony just stood and slapped a fifty down on top of Alec's offering. It was what he had in his wallet. ]

Right, I'm heading home.

[ He should just go, not look back, and certainly not look to Fell whom he couldn't help but feel that depressive weight of being a burden on and yet... ]

Lift home?

[ He just couldn't help himself. ]

Aziraphale: Yes, please.

[He pushed out his chair and stood, gathering his coat over his arm. As he came around the table, he touched her shoulder and quietly thanked Evelyn, and then bid the remaining family members, including Lilith, goodbye:] It was lovely meeting you all. May we see each other again on a better occasion.

[He took Anthony's hand.]

Evelyn: Thank you for being so gracious, Mr. Fell.

Oliver: [ He nodded. Which to him was the equivalent of a wave. ]

Lilith: [ Big sister merely watched them leave hand-in-hand while plotting how to have a background check done... ]

Anthony: [ Anthony waited until they were outside to allow it to register in his mind that Aziraphale had taken his hand and fought with limited success not to grin like Charlie Brown after the little red-headed girl had touched his hand. ]

Our family is a mess, I never should have asked you to wade into it. I didn't know it would be quite this bad but...

[ He tossed his keys to the valet so his bike could be brought around to the front to collect them. ]

Maybe Uncle Alistair was right. It should have been you and Alec. He does a much better job of looking after you than I do.

Aziraphale: [There are a lot of things he could say to reassure Anthony but some of those would be lies.]

[looking down at their joined hands] So, that's it? You're accepting defeat? Really, Anthony.

Anthony: [ It was never just the weight of one conversation. When you were with family it was always the weight of years, each word and derision counted for triple points making you feel like the small and insignificant child you once were. And he hadn't yet reacquired that demonic mojo that would allow him to smirk in the face of danger or laugh as he faced the wrath of family.

He did feel defeated... or emotionally beaten up anyway. It would have been so much easier just to give in and to do what they expected of him. It was how he had fallen in with Grace in the first place. A very settled and planned life, with the right girl, the right job, the right attitude... A right bore.

A frown creased his features as one of his long fingers absentmindedly petted Aziraphale's knuckle, never for a second actually letting go of that hand. ]

Forget it. All this... I'm just tired.

Aziraphale: No! I won't forget this. We're partners now, Anthony, and that means we're going to have to confide a little in one another. I-

Well, I suppose that's why Alec could protect me the way he did. I couldn't very well talk to you about...my feelings when you were with Grace. But I can now. And you can talk to me. Taking care of each other has to go both ways, I think.

Anthony: Partners.

[ He sniffed and looked away to try and stifle a smile but the valet got a good look at it when he pulled up with Anthony's ride. ]

It's just family. They get into your head and the next thing you don't even know how to react anymore... I've never been good at dealing with them. It's why I left the UK in the first place.

[ When he turned back the faint smile was still there and he held Fell's helmet, for this is what the blue helmet had come to be named in his own mind. ]

But, I'll tell them off, try and get them to understand... that my picking you was the very best decision I've ever made. I love you, Angel.

Aziraphale: [He had never been one for being called pet-names or at least not anything more personal than a casual Dear, but this felt strikingly like being named.]

[He forgot what else he might have said to that serious discussion, how he might have tried to call for peace and suggested against telling anyone off... and found himself smiling up at Anthony through the fan of his lashes.]

Oh, I'd make the worst angel.

Anthony: [He had never been one for cutesy nicknames either, but that one had been intended to be the Aziraphale's name. Instead the pet name had rolled off the tongue and with those soulfully batting eyes looking up at him it simply felt right. ]

Hell's angel then.

[Anthony took wicked glee in pun, smirking at the now properly nicknamed angel, even as he plucked the blue helmet playfully onto his head. ]

If you're feeling up to it you can show me how terrible you are once I get you home.

[Still smiling from the teasing he latched his own helmet on and sat on the motorcycle, ready to whisk the pair of them away from this dreadful dinner.]

Aziraphale: [YOUR angel. Hell's Angel, perhaps, but property of one very specific devil. He secured the helmet, gave into the temptation to admire the view, and then slid into place behind Anthony on the motorcycle.]

You know, I do think I could go for some dessert.

Anthony: Your place or mine?

[ Alone with HIS angel, he had to be just that little bit wicked, to suggest more than perhaps Aziraphale had meant. But whether they ended up eating a slice of cake or enjoying some sensuous nightcap Anthony couldn't have been more pleased that they rode out together. ]

Aziraphale: Is Alec still staying with you?

Anthony: [He drew in a 'just been schooled' breath and glanced back at his passenger. ]

Good point. Your place then.

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The Dinner From Hell

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