Aziraphale (
temptationaccomplished) wrote in
tramitem_log2020-05-22 10:31 pm
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that's all I ever get from your family ties
Who: Aziraphale, Alec, and Anthony's mother. And probably Anthony eventually to rescue them from this.
What: Meeting Anthony's mother...without Anthony present.
When: After Anthony's post, while Anthony is out handling the mess of his own making (aka the fake fire at the NYBG/everything he's set up with everyone else).
Where: Anthony's apartment, The Bronx.
Rating/Warnings: Uhh.
Aziraphale had dressed himself in his nicest, most flattering sweater, button up, and bow-tie, and taken a taxi to Anthony's apartment. It was all a bit unnerving. They were about a week into this relationship, a few months into their friendship, and here he was meeting the family.
Should he have brought flowers? Was that proper? Or wine or should he pretend that Anthony had made plans and invited him over before his mother had come to visit and that was just a coincidence?
He spent the taxi ride over rehearsing his greeting, mind swimming with details. Hello, Mrs. Crowley! What a pleasure to meet you! Did he know the mother's first name? Had Anthony or Alec mentioned it? Was she even "Mrs. Crowley" or did she go by another last name-- No, Anthony was Catholic. Surely his mother had taken her husband's name and Anthony hadn't mentioned a divorce. No, he mentioned a divorce, but that was Alec's side of the family, including the uncle who thought Aziraphale was Lisa. ...Right? Goodness, he couldn't keep it all straight.
By the time Aziraphale had arrived, he was convinced that the best way to handle this was to go upstairs, greet her like he had no idea they'd be meeting today, and sweep Anthony off to dessert before anything could implode with questions or accusations. It was terribly cowardly, but he was fairly certain Anthony was in no position to rescue him from this terrible idea he had agreed to.
So, holding only his coat, no flowers, Aziraphale knocked on Anthony's apartment door, stepped back, wrung his hands, put on a smile, and waited.
What: Meeting Anthony's mother...without Anthony present.
When: After Anthony's post, while Anthony is out handling the mess of his own making (aka the fake fire at the NYBG/everything he's set up with everyone else).
Where: Anthony's apartment, The Bronx.
Rating/Warnings: Uhh.
Aziraphale had dressed himself in his nicest, most flattering sweater, button up, and bow-tie, and taken a taxi to Anthony's apartment. It was all a bit unnerving. They were about a week into this relationship, a few months into their friendship, and here he was meeting the family.
Should he have brought flowers? Was that proper? Or wine or should he pretend that Anthony had made plans and invited him over before his mother had come to visit and that was just a coincidence?
He spent the taxi ride over rehearsing his greeting, mind swimming with details. Hello, Mrs. Crowley! What a pleasure to meet you! Did he know the mother's first name? Had Anthony or Alec mentioned it? Was she even "Mrs. Crowley" or did she go by another last name-- No, Anthony was Catholic. Surely his mother had taken her husband's name and Anthony hadn't mentioned a divorce. No, he mentioned a divorce, but that was Alec's side of the family, including the uncle who thought Aziraphale was Lisa. ...Right? Goodness, he couldn't keep it all straight.
By the time Aziraphale had arrived, he was convinced that the best way to handle this was to go upstairs, greet her like he had no idea they'd be meeting today, and sweep Anthony off to dessert before anything could implode with questions or accusations. It was terribly cowardly, but he was fairly certain Anthony was in no position to rescue him from this terrible idea he had agreed to.
So, holding only his coat, no flowers, Aziraphale knocked on Anthony's apartment door, stepped back, wrung his hands, put on a smile, and waited.
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Or at least he hoped it was.
If it was someone asking where Anthony really was he had fuckall to tell them.
Getting up, Alec went to the door and opened it, only to be surprised, though he wasn't sure why he would be.
"Fell."
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His smile faltered with uncertainty.
"Alec. I--" He looked down the hall towards the elevator, then back at Alec. "I'm glad to see you up and about again. You look..." Tired.
"...well. Is Anthony home? We had plans. For dessert."
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"He's not." Alec folded his arms and leaned against the door frame. "...were you expecting him?" That was a stupid question but it was out before he realized it so he let it hang in the air.
Evelyn has no icons so have grumpy face
"Who is it, Alec?"
Her smile was bright but creased with a few worry lines around the edges. Worry lines that deepened when she caught the name.
"Fell? Is this Anthony's friend?"
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"Yep."
And then turning back into the room.
"Come on, Fell."
If they were drowning they were drowning together.
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"Thank you," he said, entering nervously, unsure if he could hope for help from Alec. He offered Anthony's mother a smile.
"Hello, Mrs. Crowley. It's lovely to meet you."
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"I have been absolutely dying to meet you too, Mr. Fell. I've heard so very much about you recently..."
The door slid closed with a sickening click.
"And so little. Would you both like some tea? Do take a seat around the table and I'll bring some tea."
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"None for me, thanks," he said automatically, then almost wished he hadn't.
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"Oh, yes, that would be...wonderful. Thank you."
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"I'm afraid Anthony hasn't told me nearly enough about you, Mr. Fell."
The tea things were escorted to the table and laid out. Cream, sugar, the teapot and cups... and a plateful of her fresh baked shortbread cookies perfect for loosening tongues!
"When did you two meet?"
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"Anthony and I?" He suddenly felt like everything drained out of his head and left it void of whatever he and Anthony had agreed upon, if anything.
"We met earlier this year at a social gathering," he said, opting for the easiest route. "He knocked over the refreshment table and made a bit of a scene, so I went to say hello. Was absolutely adorable, really; I thought he was charming, even if he was a little agitated by the whole thing." Aziraphale gave a nervous, tittering laugh and broke the cookie down into a bite-sized piece. "Felt like we'd known each other forever, once we really started talking. Got on like a house on fire--I mean, after that first little hiccup."
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This was a disaster.
Aunt Evie would see right through him. He had nothing to add or subtract from this conversation so he dug out his mobile and carefully texted Anthony:
You are so fucked.
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Evelyn poured a tea cup for everyone and sipped from hers cagily as she listened to the first meeting story. It was cute and did sound truthful enough... there was just that one think that nagged at her.
"He was nervous at a party?"
Red alert. Red alert. Mom senses were tingling!
"That doesn't sound like my Anthony. He has never been nervous at a party before. In fact he usually enjoys his parties too much. Just what sort of party was this?"
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Fuck Fuck Fuck Fuck
Fuck you Fuck me Fuck this
F.u.c.k
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"And how long has Anthony been requiring therapy?"
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Maybe that was a bridge too far but so long as it got her to stop looking at him with such a tragic face.
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"You shouldn't be so hard on yourself, my dear. And yes, Anthony has been very helpful and supportive. It's admirable, really, how he's taken to it."
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Alec let out a breath and decided not to dwell on it.
Much.
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"And that whole thinking he is a demon thing... He is not in counseling for that?"
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Well, fine.
"It's a bit complicated, Aunt Evie. There's something going on here. We're embroiled in something we don't understand. I don't really understand it myself. But for some reason people in this area are getting memories and emotions that feel genuine but aren't. And you know Anthony. He always wants to escape to the fantasy rather than stay in the reality." He leans back.
"There's a couple people working on finding out the truth and when we do that, that's really the only thing that's going to get back to normal. Only this seems to run in families so I think you should limit your time here just in case and I'll keep you updated."
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And while Alec's explanation may not have been the perfect solution, it saved Aziraphale from coming up with a terrible lie that would only make things worse. His expression softened into a grateful smile as he nodded along.
"Alec looks after us all so well."
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"Alec has always been good at looking after others." Evelyn agreed but just so Alec didn't feel left out she looked back at him gently but with a warning edge, "But, he could stand to look after himself better. Have you even eaten anything today?"
You were going to. She was about to make feeding Alec and ensuring he got the rest he hadn't been getting at his place her second mission. Right after tea. She folded her hands around her cup, gazing down into the amber liquid as if looking for guidance.
"I have been worried about what happened since I received that nice young lady's phone call. Grace, that was her name. They had sounded so happy, about to be married to start a new life together, and then just like that everything fell apart... Was that all from these so called memories? And you are saying I should leave? I couldn't possibly leave... not while my boys are in trouble!"
Evelyn's eyes fell on Aziraphale again, a momma bear ready to protect her cubs from any threat even if it seemed perfectly harmless sitting there drinking his tea. He was in better shape than poor Alec, more put together... aside from a few nervous twitchings.
"And you Mr. Fell? You've been terribly quiet. Don't you have anything to say for yourself? I'd like to know more about the man my Anthony is throwing his future away for."
About that time Alec's phone jangled.
Why are you panicking?? You are supposed to be resting! GO TO SLEEP!!
Five minutes later.
Shit! Aziraphale!! Is he there already??!! Shit, shit, shit!
Then Aziraphale's phone jangled.
I am so sorry!! I lost track of time but I'm on my way. Just tell mom to put her fangs away.
Five minutes later again.
And compliment the cookies! It helps to compliment the cookies!!
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It was probably just his imagination.
But it also meant he couldn't save Fell from her questioning. It was right, though, that he answer the concerns of a mother, if he really wanted to be with Anthony.
He sipped his tea, feeling chastened and ten years old again, and even ate a biscuit which was the best one he'd ever eaten. She could do magic with her cooking.
He read Anthony's message with a raised eyebrow and texted back to him under the table.
It will be too late by the time you get here. But maybe that's a good thing
He'd heard Fell's phone go off too and gave the man a steady look, hoping he wouldn't be as rude to check his phone when someone was asking him such a serious question.
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He raised his chin a little defiantly, trying not to squirm under her gaze. "He's changing directions--perhaps not the direction you want him to go--but he's not throwing away his life." His voice edged with nerves. "I apologize if you had certain, uh, expectations and hopes for him, and if this new direction is in defiance of that, but I do not apologize for loving him or for the fact that he chose me."
And Aziraphale didn't think, really, he had done much to encourage Anthony to choose him over Grace, especially not there at the end of his relationship with her. It just...happened. A fault of the Bureau, perhaps, or of conversations he was not privy to. Anthony had all but made up his mind, he thought, by the time they spoke in the Stone Mill.
"He's your child, Mrs. Crowley, and you of course want what's best for him. I want what's best for him, and I will try to be that. But he's not a child." Nor was Alec, but Aziraphale kept that to himself. If anyone needed a little coddling, it was Alec, and if he would only accept it from his aunt, then so be it. The man had to let someone love him. "And even if this whole situation is a little odd, he made his decision. This is what he wants, and he needs your support and approval, even if it's not what you want."
He was trying to be brave, but he felt suddenly very small.
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The panicked texts would go silent as he hurried to get back there. Speed limits were for other people.
Evelyn lifted her tea as Mr. Fell spoke, favoring him with a very cool look over the rim of her glass as he made his brave last stand. None of Anthony's other friends had ever laid out such an impassioned speech before. A few had paled or tried to slide under the table, one had looked for all the world like he might just have wet himself... She briefly wondered if Grace would have stood up to her like this. She was a good lady and concerned for her son, she wouldn't have called otherwise, but she wasn't here, now, standing up to his evil shrew of a mother now was she?
"Every mother has dreams for their son, Mr. Fell. As you said I want the best for him."
She took a sip from her tea.
"Also grandchildren. I have three... but I'm greedy."
The cup was set much more politely into her saucer as the plate of cookies was gently nudged towards Alec in a 'do have more' way.
"I know he is a grown man and that he probably doesn't need his old mum anymore, maybe I need him more than he needs me. My other two kids were nearly grown when their father died and Anthony... he was my light in a very dark time. Taking care of him got me through it. I suppose I still try to take care of him... maybe too much."
She reached out for Aziraphale's hands holding the one she captured very warmly between hers.
"If you do love him I never want you to apologize for it. I want you to fight for him. To take care of him in good times and bad. I want Anthony to be happy and if he is with you then the rest will work itself out."
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More than fine actually. There was something here. Something blossoming. Something beautiful. He knew somehow now that whatever happened, no matter what they thought about the matter, they would end up happy. It was more than he could have hoped for. It didn't even feel real.
He found he wasn't hungry much anymore, but there was one thing he could do. He got up from the table as silently and unobtrusively as he might and slips out of the flat. Then he stands in front of the door, arms folded, to head Anthony off at the pass before he comes in at full frazzled panic.
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He couldn't do much about the grandchildren. The idea--that expectation and demand--he'd seen before. Other friends had faced similar in confrontations with parents and in-laws. His own mother hadn't found it in her to care. No one should push that, because raising a child was not something one should choose lightly.
And to be quite honest, that wasn't a conversation he looked forward to having with Anthony, either, not with their current memories as they were (the boy, Warlock...what was his fate?). Nor did Aziraphale particularly want children--he wasn't good with them--and he was getting up there in years, but perhaps. It was the first time that was even an option to consider.
Wasn't that something.
Their romantic relationship was barely a week old and he was already thinking about a future and the negotiations of sharing a life.
He hadn't come here needing her approval, but now that he had it, it was warm and blossoming in his chest. His own mother had never outright disapproved of his relationships, but her indifference had hurt in its own way.
"I hope I can make him that happy." He put his other hand over her's and too comfort in her hold. "And he'll always need his mother. It doesn't matter how old we get, I suspect we always want to know our mother loves us. But thank you. Thank you for letting him light up my life, too."
And then, after a moment he was acutely aware that he had been very caught up in her and that Alec had been left to his own--
He looked from the empty seat, back to Anthony's mother with confusion.
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Mr. Fell's newly adopted hand was given a squeeze before she turned to look at the empty place where Alec had been sitting. Poor Alec... Evelyn made the greatest of efforts not to sigh. If only all problems were so easily confronted. But now that many of her fears had been put to rest she made the attempt to smile, just to calm poor Fell's nerves a little.
"Don't worry, he will be back." She nodded towards the suitcase which was sitting upright near the foot of the bed. "We have his underwear."
****
Meanwhile Anthony was just stepping off the elevator. His eyes no longer held that panicked deer expression but his hands were full of apology gifts which had been collected from the shops along the way. Nothing says you are sorry like gifts!
"Alec."
He had something for him too... A new mystery that Anthony had fished out of the book section. This was pulled out of a pocket and pressed into his cousin's hands.
"How bad is it? Do they hate me?? UGH! There is too much going on at once!"
Anthony stomped his foot and turned in a circle as the nervous energy had to come out some how.
"Why can't things just be simple!"
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Or in Anthony's case, panic. Alec stopped him mid turn with a hand on his shoulder.
"Hey, calm down. Look at me. It's fine, I promise. Fell stood up for you. He loves you that much. And Aunt Evie loves him for it." A smile. "When I left they were holding hands." Fell was never going to leave this family alive, but he knew what he was getting into.
"So relax. Everything will be fine." He checked his watch. "I have a meeting to get to, but you should go say hello."
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His mad twirling was stopped by the hand and the drama allowed to give way to confusion.
"Their holding hands? Mum has never liked anyone I've brought home before... and their holding hands??"
He paused and blinked at the news.
"That's either really good or really bad."
It's fine, Fell stood up for you! Alec's words reminded him and as they rang through his head they were enough to produce the faintest signs of a blush until Alec's news pushed in to take it's place.
"A meeting? What sort of meeting?"
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"Just a consultation. Thanks for the book." He patted Anthony's shoulder and headed for the lift. The further he got from this whole situation the happier he would be.
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Aziraphale laughed a little and offered up a smile in return. Despite the warmth in his chest, his emotions felt a bit raw and wrung out, and so full of what could only be described as love that it was nearly overflowing; it needed to be shared. It made him very happy to know they had brought Alec here to the small but comfortable living-space that was Anthony's apartment. Alec needed someone to keep him company while he was recovering, if only to keep him from taking it all on himself.
"He has been so kind to me--" And a good cousin to Anthony, but that went without saying. And Aziraphale wasn't even sure, sometimes, if Alec considered him a friend or if they were just two people with loneliness and Anthony in common. "But I worry about him. We haven't known each other long, but Alec cares so deeply, tries so hard for us; he just seems so determined to be lonely himself."
How could he tell her that he worried he was somehow contributing to Alec's unhappiness, even if this was what Alec also seemed to want?
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So instead he looked towards the door of his apartment and wondered if he should knock. A silly notion as it was his place and why should he?
***
Evelyn listened to Fell's concerns and found she shared many of them. It wouldn't really be her place to go around telling family stories to people only recently invited into the family... at least not without filling up her teacup again.
"You are a very kind man Mr. Fell. I'm sure that some where deep inside him Alec does appreciate that. It's just... I'm afraid he has become very good at keeping people at arm's length. I know he had a very rough time of it growing up and I think due to that he has difficulty relating to others."
She sipped her tea.
"I worry about him too, especially after Anthony called about Alec's heart attack. I wish there was more I could do for him. I hate to see either of my boys suffering."
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Once out in the fresh air he made his way toward the bus stop. He had enough loose change in his pocket to afford fare to the library where he could sit and read for a few hours. Eventually he knew Anthony would clue in to his lie as he didn't even have his wallet or mobile with him, but also knew it would be too late to do anything about it.
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"I think having you here is comfort." A disruption to their normal lives, certainly, but a comfort nonetheless. "It's a comfort to me to know Alec has more people looking after him, anyway. There's only so much one can do for him if he won't let himself be helped, and Anthony shouldered a lot of that himself the night Alec went to the hospital. So thank you."
He awkwardly helped himself to another cookie, unsure what else to say.
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"I wish I was a comfort, I feel more like an invading Hun. The boys can be so difficult when some thing is bothering them, but they do look after each other between squabbles and I intend to do what I can for them while I'm here. I never expected things to be so dire..."
Mental health scares were bad enough, but there was Alec's heart condition and those memories some one finally had told her about. It left a mother as uncertain where to go as poor Fell with his cookie. But, about that time the door glided open and Anthony entered. He looked of pure guilt as he wandered over to give his mum a kiss on the cheek and an apology coffee / muffin combination.
"Sorry."
These gifts were accepted with the patience only a mother had, "And the fire?"
Anthony's nose scrunched, "He was supposed to say a thermostat had shorted out not that there was a fire. It was an excuse to get away for a while..."
"You could have just said..." Evelyn trailed off as even she knew she wouldn't have been able to let go of him at that time. "I know, I wouldn't have been able to hear you. I was too worried. I'm still worried! But at least I know you do have people looking out for you."
Fell, she meant and his being mentioned brought Anthony's eyes over to him. He must be furious, being left all alone with him mum! What must the guy think of him? The worst case scenario was played out in his mind. The grand fight, the inevitable break up... he doubted even the flowers he held could save him but the roses were presented to Fell all the same.
"I owe you an apology too. I should have been here when you arrived. I intended to be I just ran into... stuff."
A kid with the power to kill some one with a magical heart attack. It had certainly been a distraction!
"Oh! There's no harm done, surely?" Evelyn spoke up again, just to give the kids a helpful push. "Besides it gave us the chance to talk. I can't say I agree with the way you've gone about things but, Anthony, if this makes you happy then that's what you have to do. Now... you don't want to spend all your time with me. Were you two going some where? Don't let me keep you."
She looked to Anthony and pointedly added, "You and I can talk when you get back."
Which just left him and Fell who might have been too angry with him to keep their date. Anthony's voice was cool when he spoke but if one listened carefully there was a barely hidden quaver of nerves, "Aziraphale? You... still up for dessert?"
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Oh, but he was so happy to see Anthony just the same. That stupid, silly feeling that always came over him, that one that made him feel and act like a fool, meant Anthony had his sole focus, even if said focus was currently funneled into trying to look appropriately put-out, like Anthony was in the doghouse. He accepted the flowers, eyeing Anthony over them as he took a breath of their soft rosy perfume. His expression softened and warmed as Anthony's cool facade cracked just a little.
"You did promise. Maybe a sinfully decadent chocolate mousse?" If Evelyn hadn't been there, Aziraphale might have made him work a little harder. As it was, not in front of the mother.
"Thank you, Mrs. Crowley, for the delicious cookies. I'm glad we had a chance to talk."
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He forgot himself as he watched Fell's cheeks tinting nearly the same rosy color as the flowers he was partially hidden behind. The impish smile drew Anthony in, leaning closer to smell the scent of Azirpahale's cologne had mingled with the roses as well... and what did you know. His lips matched them too. All sense of place nearly forgotten he thought to visit those lips with an apology kiss..-- only Fell did go mentioning his mum and when Anthony looked up to realize how close he had drawn to Aziraphale, only mere inches from his cheek, he noticed also his mum leaning over the table and grinning like she was deep into one of her soap operas.
"Please, don't mind me. This is precious."
Anthony cleared his throat and pulled away. The kiss could wait until they didn't have an audience.
"La Maison Du Chocolat," he spoke as his Aziraphale in close proximity swagger carried him back towards the apartment door, "I'll even buy you a few Eclairs."