tramitem_log | The Holiday from Hell

Entry tags:

The Holiday from Hell

Who: Alec, Anthony, Ellie and Fell
What: Going on a house sitting holiday to ~~terrifying~~ jolly old England.
When: 09/20-09/30
Where: Across the Pond.

Alec squinted at the house as it rose on the horizon. He was tired and jet lagged from the plane. Tired and sore from the long ride over bumpy roads in a small cab, crowded against one window by Ellie who was smushed in the middle with Anthony on the other side. Fell, being the guest, took up the front seat and was probably cramping Anthony's legs all to pieces with how much room he left which Alec felt strangely justified in.

Anyway, that house held memories, both good and bad and, mostly terrifying, but he was oddly looking forward to it. After all, everything was a little bit frightening until you knew its secrets.

---
Info on Abaddon House and the environs

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"Hm." He shakes his head a little bit, amused at the wiggle, then cradles his mug in his hands and leans back, taking a sip. "I may end up here one day." His voice is a bit rough as he speaks.

And then after a moment.

"Do you think an afterlife exists?"

He looks up, his own throat tight with concern. You're not lost and you're not damned.

"I-" He shakes his head and gives a slight shrug, unable to commit to an answer. After a good sip of cocoa, he adds, "I suppose I should, if I'm to believe what I am. I haven't had much faith over the years, but it's a comfort to think that we will go somewhere that we may see lost loved ones again." He didn't like thinking about death, especially not in the context of Alec, because it felt all too real a near possibility after the scare earlier this year. "I like to think no one is lost, and most are not damned."

"Do you?"

"An angel without faith. Poor bastard." But he isn't really serious. "Except an angel without faith wouldn't believe in people so much, and we need it."

Fell is wrong of course. There are plenty lost and damned. That is the way of the world. As for him...

"I'm Catholic, very lapsed, so I should too theoretically... but I don't know. One life is hard enough isn't it? And now we've got two at once." He shakes his head.

"Sometimes I think there is a benefit of just rest." A smirk. "Aye, but there's the rub, for in such sleep, what dreams may come? When we have shuffled off this mortal coil... " The house groans and he lifts his cup to it. "Some of us.

What makes us bear those ills we have? Than fly to those we know not of? Thus conscience makes cowards of us all..." A sip of cocoa.

"But I am not afraid."

Edited 2020-09-24 06:57 (UTC)

Alec is wrong. He doesn't believe in people, Fell thinks. He believes in some people, of course. The vast majority of them on a good day, except some are very foolish and common sense is in short supply, and he could do without other people's company even on an exceptionally good day... Not very angelic, he thinks, but Alec has always been too kind in his assessment.

Still, Alec manages to make him smile, despite the heavy content. Hamlet, one of his favorites.

But the smile fades with a chill. "What do you mean you're not afraid?"

"Just what I said. Not all of us are effectively immortal." A faint smirk.

He grimaces.

"Alright, but you're not thinking--I mean, you didn't mean--" He looks at the cocoa in front of Alec and is suddenly not so sure about allowing him to keep drinking it after all. "Please promise me you won't be shuffling off this mortal coil any time soon, if you can help it."

"Aye, I promise..." Because 'soon' is relative and so is 'helping it'. He isn't going to fling himself into it after all, despite the nip of whiskey.

"Don't worry so much, Fell. It'll be fine." At this point it almost seems like a kind of destiny, fate perhaps. Here he feels like a brush against his skin or a whisper in the air. One year, maybe two... But there is nothing left he has to do, no responsibilities or anyone relying on him.

He thinks of Daisy briefly and is glad she is in...another life or is just a memory or delusion or whatever these thoughts mean.

"Please stop saying that. For you, perhaps, it will be fine." He takes a long drink of cocoa.

"Aye, for me it will. And isn't it nice to have a say in something for once." He looked away, annoyed and bitter. "Sometimes you just have to be done with things. Sometimes things just have to end. It's the natural part of life."

"I always liked the idea that old cliché about every end being another beginning." He looks over at Alec, feeling guilty, but offers up a hesitant smile anyway. "But I understand. I do. Or I'll try to. And I'll try to respect that when the time inevitably comes--even if I have the power not to."

He snaps a biscuit in half. "But do try to enjoy yourself a little in the meantime? However you like. You could have quite a long time left here and I just want you to be...something like happy. I like you too much not to wish that for you."

He appreciated that, more than he could say. At least someone understood. He didn't want to think about Fell having the power not to, even the recognition of it gave him chills more than any ghost. He tugged the blanket further about himself-- then made a face.

"Happiness is overrated. I wouldn't even know how to do it even if I tried. Anyway, all it does is bring expectation. Why aren't you happy, Alec, why can't you enjoy anything, Alec, for Christ's sake can't you even crack a smile? It's never enough for some people." He grumbled, tucking down his chin.

"I just want to be myself."

Alec is adorable, all bundled up in the blanket. Of course Aziraphale knows him well enough by now not to say that aloud.

"Yes, that does tend to be an unfortunate side effect," he agrees after finishing a bite of biscuit. "But weren't you yourself at the zoo? I thought we had a grand time at the zoo. Of course if you were just appeasing me, feel free to say so and I won't put you through it again."

"Mph..." He didn't know how to answer that question. It was complicated. Yes and no and sort of and not really.

"If that's the case it's easier to be miserable."

He shook his head with a fond, if a little bittersweet, sigh. "Fine, you be miserable. I'll be happy enough for the both of us." He finished off the broken biscuit and started on another, picking up the tin lid to examine the brand and such. "These are really very good."

An equally fond and bittersweet smile back. "You're good at that. You seem so determined to enjoy life regardless of what it throws at you. It's probably partly why Anty is so fond of you."

He gives a soft laugh and looks away. "We only get one life; might as well enjoy it to the fullest, right? There are just so many things to enjoy--food and entertainment aside, there are experiences and people, Alec--"

He feels a touch embarrassed, but his eyes light up with passion and mirth. "I don't like too many people, not enough, but the ones I do like... It's fun. People are fun. Things are fun. It's too easy to fall into that adult trap of denying oneself the joy of adventure and discovery."

"Hm. Sounds like a good time." The joy of adventure and discovery. He isn't even sure if he's ever had it. He likes things he knows. Places he's been to. Outcomes he can expect. You can't get your hopes up if you've none to begin with.

Still there must be something to it for someone to have an expression like that. Fell's eyes seem to light with some inner fire that Alec finds himself drawn to before looking away since it's not for him and really he wouldn't know what to do with it even if it were.

"But I'm old and boring and prefer the old and boring." He considers. "And sometimes slightly creepy."

"You're dependable, not boring. Not to me." He cradles his cup in his hands and takes a sip, smiling over the rim when he's done, the sparkle in his eyes now directed at Alec. "I think you just want to seem boring so people leave you alone. You're much too feisty, Alec, to be considered boring. Boring people don't continue to scare the pants off their cousin with ghost stories well into adulthood."

"Of course I am to you, you're family." So Anthony had better not break his heart. At the other comment he laughed, though kept his gaze toward the window.

"He's too bloody easy." And then a mischievous glint. "I don't suppose you want to help me."

Edited 2020-09-25 03:18 (UTC)

Aziraphale tipped up his cup to hide the glowing, soft expression even though Alec wasn't looking his way. Family. Alec considered him family. He felt warm and cozy in a way that wasn't just the whiskey.

"Help you? Torture Anthony with ghost stories?" He grinned conspiratorially. "I would love to."

He looked away again, ignoring that glow and smile. Such a simple statement but it meant so much.

"Oh, more than that. I'm not thinking something so simple."

"What do you have in mind?" He was excited and intrigued, not just for the chance to tease poor Anthony, but also... Alec was choosing to include him, not the other way around as so usually happened.

A smirk. "I'll show you. Come on." Taking the cup he stood and waited for fell to join him before shuffling out of the kitchen in the entryway. "I'll show you the secrets of the house, but promise not to go exploring yourself or alone. Some of is dangerous."

He followed, tin of biscuits in hand, mindful not to step on Alec's blanket as they went along.

"I'll promise, but only because I'm sure you don't just mean more Kettle Men and lost souls." He was giddy with anticipation at the house having actual secrets.

He opened the door that lead under the stairs, though he had to duck through to get in and gestured Fell closer, then whispered softly near his ear.

"And of course a secret is a secret." He brought out a little key ring torch that he had gotten here with and flicked it on, holding it between his teeth as he pressed a panel on the fall wall which swung inward with a creak to reveal a narrow corridor that ran between the walls.

"Welcome to Neverland. Home of lost souls and wandering spirits."

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