No, don't touch him like that. Don't say things like that. It makes his skin prickle. His heart is already sore enough. He doesn't even want what he wants and a large part of him knows it's only the face, it's only the body, it's only the voice. If he looked like anyone else, if he was related to anyone else, it wouldn't matter so much.

He looked through damp bangs at the man, absorbing his words, feeling both vindicated and frustrated by them. Keep clawing at the brick wall, it said. Don't give up. There will be nothing for you at the end, but maybe someone will get a boost over. But that was good. That was fine. If all he could provide was a boost then maybe in some part he'd had a life worth living.

"It's nothing." And it wasn't.

He watched Elliot cross concerned over to the camera and stood up, weaving a bit and putting a hand on Fell's shoulder to steady himself, then straightening and moving past him to the kid.

"Thank you," he said, and meant it. "For putting up with all that. And sorry for scaring the piss out of you. You gave me what I needed and I'm grateful for it. But take care. Try not to be consumed by this. Keep at least one foot in this..." Reality seemed like a trigger word.

"... safer world. Just until we know more."