That had come out too quickly and too harshly, just like everything else he had said so far today but he carried on as he needed Aziraphale to understand. Otherwise he would just go on accidentally hurting him and Anthony couldn't stand the thought of that.
"I don't want you to think it's your fault. I don't want to lead you on or hurt you... Or Grace."
His head rolled back towards his cousin.
"Or even Alec."
It was an apology of sorts as he had allowed Alec to tag along, had even wanted his help before when he had been terrified of what might happen if they were left alone. This. He had been absolutely terrified of this happening. Of having more memories that blurred the lines of reality.
"This time it wasn't a dream. Aziraphale, I was awake, looking at a piece of art about infinite love... I don't know if I understand what that even is. I don't know anything anymore... I don't know who my spotted pumpkin is."
no subject
That had come out too quickly and too harshly, just like everything else he had said so far today but he carried on as he needed Aziraphale to understand. Otherwise he would just go on accidentally hurting him and Anthony couldn't stand the thought of that.
"I don't want you to think it's your fault. I don't want to lead you on or hurt you... Or Grace."
His head rolled back towards his cousin.
"Or even Alec."
It was an apology of sorts as he had allowed Alec to tag along, had even wanted his help before when he had been terrified of what might happen if they were left alone. This. He had been absolutely terrified of this happening. Of having more memories that blurred the lines of reality.
"This time it wasn't a dream. Aziraphale, I was awake, looking at a piece of art about infinite love... I don't know if I understand what that even is. I don't know anything anymore... I don't know who my spotted pumpkin is."