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Who: Ben and Open OOC: Feel free to recognize him from daily life or support group!
What: Day In The Life + Memory shit.
When: This week (roughly)
Where: Out and about in the city -his sports arena, coffee shop, jogging, restaurants, museums, antique stores, and a pet store.
Warnings: Probably some cursing at some point, otherwise none.

The first new memory he got - the one shared with Anakin at the arena - had been fairly innocuous. It was also the first of many, and they arrived quickly. The memories themselves were....

Some of the memories were fairly benign, still. Others were less pleasant. A few were truly painful. They still lacked some context, but nowhere near as much. There was enough there now to make him more uncertain in his own sanity and enough there to disrupt his life.

If he'd let them.

He stubbornly refused to do that. He went jogging and got coffee at his favorite shop every single morning. He went to work out on the rink inside the sports arena every day, and three times during the week (MWF) he went into the gym there and worked out. At noon and after he finished teaching he ate at an assortment of small restaurants before going back to the arena to prep for his next exhibition skate.

When he finally made it home to his apartment and cat he passed out almost immediately, though of course he still had repetitive dreams of various memories.

When the weekend rolled around he still went jogging, got his coffee, taught his morning class, and did his private coaching in the afternoon. After all that he went to a small museum, an antique store to browse, and a Pet shop to buy cat food and litter in the evenings.

Then ended up on ice again at the end of it.

He kept living his life at absolute full capacity because he was. not. going. to. stop just because of some stupid memories that didn't even make sense - space travel? aliens? laser swords?.

He just - he wasn't.

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Bitterblue would not go a single day without brewing her own coffee - she needed coffee like the French-born young woman she was. It was practically all that was in her blood.

Except for today, when she woke up and her cafepress broke while she was using it. This was the worst omen of her life (possibly aside from this whole Bureau and memory thing).

But she couldn't skip. She quickly dressed - so she would have enough time to stop at a cafe on the way to work.

She skipped over the Starbucks and entered the next shop that looked decently able to produce a quality morning beverage and queued up.

She was in line no more than a minute when the door opened to the cafe tinkled open and someone queued up behind her. Bitterblue glanced back because of the sound of the door bells and then looked forward again without processing the person she saw. Only to turn back around and say.

"Oh, hello, I've seen you before."

Anakin had noticed that Ben had been absent from chess all week, and he didn't like how that made him worried. Before this whole memory thing started, they might go a week without seeing each other. It just depended on their schedules. And Anakin hadn't cared much then.

But now...

Was it him keeping Ben away?

Why did it matter?

The truth was, Anakin wanted to talk about his memories with someone. And he didn't feel he could just unload them on just anyone. And for some reason, it was hard to separate what he felt in the memories with... well, who he outside the memories.

By Sunday this all came to a head and Anakin's better nature lost to his need to see if Ben was okay.

He sent a text, you at the rink? which was followed by can i come down? and i could try skating again?.

And then he flopped on his couch and checked his phone obsessively until he got a response.

He was avoiding Anakin, but he wasn't quite conscious that he was doing it.

Until he saw the text from Anakin on his phone and was hit with a sharp pang of guilt that was... as much about emotional carry-over from memories as the here and now, he thought.

I am, he sent back, Come join me.

He wasn't quite paying attention to the people in the line he was joining, but her turning around a second time made him do more than glance - it got him to really see her.

And the voice helped, almost as much as being spoken to directly.

He flashed a slight smile and nodded. "Me too. The ... bad government meetings, right?"

He didn't NEED the antique desk--frankly he was running out of space his apartment--but there was something charming about a roll-top secretary desk (or banker's desk. The tag said it was a banker's desk and who was Aziraphale to argue?). He wanted it. Such a lovely oak stain, with nice brass finishes. In very good shape, really. But after a quick check of the price, he was decided. He really did not need it.

Only one thing for today, then: a refurbished mid-century electric fan for this upcoming summer season. He brought it to the front, intending to check out, but the temptation that was browsing their selection of vintage lamps was too much to resist. That's when he spotted Ben.

"Fancy meeting you here," he said cheerily approaching him, cradling the fan in his arms.

"Bad... government...?" Bitterblue looked lost for a moment and she wondered if this was a language thing.

But no, it clicked in her head as she said it out loud.

"Mais oui! Right, right. The bad government meetings. I've seen you before but I haven't been able to introduce myself, yet. I'm Bitterblue." And she held out a hand for him to shake.

He sat up in an instance when his phone text sound chimed.

He sent a quick: okay!

And he grabbed his things and ordered an Uber.

One car ride later, Anakin was at the rink and checking out a pair of skates.

When he was in the locker room, he texted Obi-Wan that he was here and asked him to help him with the laces. Then he set about trying to get the skates on his feet with one and a half hands.

At least they'd worked past this part of awkwardness - even if the asking was awkward for Anakin (he didn't know) or doing was for Obi-Wan, that the help was going to be needed had been established.

He was already in skates (as well as a pair of old, faded, jeans and a slightly ratty, cream sweater over his t-shirt) but had the blade guards when he came in. He was also carrying a spare skate (they'd talked about looking at blades), and wrist brace with him.

The spare brace got set beside Anakin on the bench and he knelt down to tie those laces.

"I guess you decided to take your therapist's advice?" Seemed obvious, but-

Far from looking for anything in particular, Ben was mostly just browsing. The lamps caught his attention, too, though and there was one particular one with a lot of brass that really caught his attention.

He looked up at the sound of Mr. Fell's voice with a warm smile. "Hello. Much more pleasant surroundings than last time, though I don't think the coffee's like to be better." It's a joke - sort of - but more importantly. "How have you been?"

He took her hand and shook it warmly (and without any bullshit nonsense like too hard or too soft grips). "It's a pleasure." What an interesting name. "My name's Ben - or Obi-Wan if you prefer. I'm sorry I hadn't introduced myself before. Those meetings are... uncomfortable."

Anakin started working on pulling on the wrist brace and stretched out his be-skated feet in turn for Obi-Wan to help him. He would probably never reach a level of skill with his robotic hand where he could get his skates tight enough on his own. He just didn't have that same kind of tugging power and coordinating gripping strength.

"Of course, I always listen to them." And he said it with a grin that suggested he didn't always listen to them. But he mostly listened to them.

"What's with the other skate- do people lose skates the same way you just randomly see a shoe on the side of the rode? Seems hard to do given how tight they are." He'd completely forgotten that Obi-Wan had said he would show him the blade.

He glanced up as he finished tying the first skate and nodded toward it. "Pick it up and get a good look at the blades." Well, technically one but also two. "You're not going to cut yourself with them, unless there's a lot of force. You should also probably figure out inside and outside edges, since we're going to do this more."

Was he being excessively... professional? Maybe a little. He didn't want to mess up again. Was nervous as hell, and then there was the memory stuff.....

Which made him really not want to mess up again.

Bitterblue nodded in eager agreement. "I do not know what I expected from them, but they are not as comforting as such meetings I have known in the past."

The line advanced in front of Bitterblue so she stepped forward.

"I do not think those meetings are as helpful as the... organizers believe they are."

Anakin's demeanor was far cheerier than it had been their first attempt at this. He was much less awkward, he felt much less awkward.

He picked up the skate and looked at it.

"I think you underestimate my ability to fuck up in an epic way. You don't even know yet how I lost my right hand."

"I'm going to go ahead and assume you didn't run over your own hand while wearing skates." Which was not meant to be flippant - well maybe a little, but he was finishing up tying the other skate before standing up and stepping back. He held out his hand for Anakin's. "That's beyond fucking up, that's fucking up with a level of flexibility that defies anatomy."

"No," Anakin admitted. "But it did involve explosions, so you should be prepared for those at all times around me."

He grabbed ahold of Ben's offered hand and leveraged himself to his feet.

"Okay, let's try this again."

Clarence was bustling around the pet shop looking for some more toys for Cheddar but finding himself constantly distracted by the new batch of foster kittens brought in only the day before. While he was content with Cheddar, he also longed to just fill the house with cats. He was pretty sure Phil and Kris weren't going to allow that amount of chaos in their townhouse.

It was on the way back from visiting said kittens that Clarence noticed upon entering the cat aisle once again that there was someone new there. New inside the aisle, anyway. But there was something strangely familiar about the man.

"Oh, you're one of the Different," Clarence said, recognizing him after a moment from the few counseling meetings he had attended. He almost immediately turned red at his outburst, pulling his cat-ear hoodie down to hide his face. The heck was he thinking? Still too distracted by cats to make much us of his brain cells, it seemed. "Uh... sorry. I didn't mean to be weird."

"Oh, you never know. They may well have a French press tucked away in the back," he teased before giving a slight shrug and admitting, "I've been well enough. No more reckless evenings, I assure you." No, no more drinking to cope for him. The morning after was horrid, just as Ben had said it'd be. Aziraphale had to throw himself into other things since to keep himself behaved.

"Speaking with Anakin helped more than I expected. How are you? Up to anything in particular?"

"I've never been to these sorts of meetings before, but from what I understand of them they work best when they foster trust. I don't think many of us trust the organizers."

Which was an understatement, but at least narrowly avoided saying that they actively distrusted them.

There may be someone there who trusted the Bureau? But he hadn't encountered them.

He looked momentarily alarmed - and skeptical, somehow, at the same time - but then remembered where Anakin worked.

"All right, well, at least we'll be on ice." Should cool things down, or - he didn't know what to do with that, but it amused him as much as concerned him.

At least he had a little more information about Anakin and hadn't stepped on a landmine doing it - and they weren't tripping over memories yet.

Yet.

He headed out in front of Anakin and opened both the door and gate for him, but quickly skated himself out of the way. "How much do you remember from last time?"

"They may but would you want any coffee they happen to have for sale?" It was an antique shop, after all - and he was just bantering.

Before getting a bit more serious: "I'm glad to hear you've gotten less reckless, and yes, talking to Anakin often helps." Or blew up in his face. "I've been okay. I'm staying busy right now rather than drinking wine, but it seems like that initial memory was... not indicative of what was coming; I wasn't prepared at all."

He had been pretty tempted by the kittens, too. He could keep Elsa occupied that way-

or she'd protest and eat the thing. It was hard to tell with her.

He was reading the back of a can of catfood when he was approached, startled a little and went wide-eyed at the greeting but recovered quickly and laughed - softly.

"You're all right. I am, yeah. Hi, my name's Ben. I don't think we've officially met." He offered his hand with the introduction.

Oh jeez, a handshake. Not Clarence's favorite way of greeting. Honestly, he'd rather not touch strangers, but it was a custom he could force himself through without making a face. Better than the hugs some of his previous guardians had thought he might want from them upon first meeting.

"Uh, yeah. I'm Clarence. Sorry, I've seen you at the meetings before. Guess I just was surprised is all..." He never really approached the other adults, but Anakin stopped by Clarence enough that he felt comfortable with that guy at least. Mostly he stuck to talking with the teenagers, or when forced, the counselors.

"So you... have a cat?" That was a safe topic of conversation, right?

"I know what chemicals explode when you mix them with water," Anakin said. Which was probably not comforting. He wouldn't ever purposely vandalize a building.

He followed Ben to the ice and paused just to remember how to step out. But he did take that step and though he stayed close to the wall, he looked more sure of himself this time.

"You're not going to make me do the marching thing again, are you?"

"That's exactly my feelings, too. I do not trust this Bureau- I'd never even heard of them before... Well," she gestured at her head. "The new memory. But where to I go to talk about this or find help? I cannot tell my parents, they would think I lost my mind."

"Antique coffee?" he shrugged. "Might be worth a try for the novelty. What is it the kids say these days: you only live once?"

"Ah, yes. There seems to be a rather lot of that." Aziraphale's went from discussion of murder to becoming a wizard. It was all a bit jarring in the incongruency, but at least it hadn't been anything as awful as Anakin's. At least Ben had not resorted to wine; none of them had, so far as Aziraphale was aware. Progress...right? "What did yours have to offer this time?"

"Not if you can show me you remember how to push off to move," he said, with a quick flash of a smile. He was pretty careful, a little awkward - he just didn't want to mess it up again. "I'd much rather teach you to turn and introduce you to your inside and outside blades."

Anakin tried to move forward the way he remembered Obi-Wan showing him last time. He was really not much better than his first attempt, but he was still trying.

"Haven't you already introduced me to my skates? I am wearing them?"

At least Ben didn't linger in the handshake or go all macho stupid in being overly firm about it. Not ideal, but it could be worse.

"It's okay. It's a little strange to see someone out of context." That applied to him, too, though in his case the age thing didn't throw him too badly. Mostly because Clarence was about the age of a lot of his students. "I do have a cat and if I'm really lucky I'll still only have one when I get out of here. Did you see those kittens? They're ridiculously cute."

He stayed in front of Anakin, facing him and skating backward, far enough away to be out of the way, but close enough to reach out and grab if he had to.

"Skates, yeah, but remember how the blades have a furrow between them. Those mean each blade has two edges and using those are how you turn. You aren't prone to ankle sprains are you?"

Edited 2020-04-08 19:57 (UTC)

He hesitated, but only for a moment or two. "My first memory was barely ten seconds long, I think. This one covered... a lot of ground. Space travel, wars, fights, aliens, death. The content is less disturbing than the... amount."

"Well, I need to get better about going straight before I add new tricks." Yes, 'turning' was a trick.

He tried for longer strides and the best part of his attempt was that he didn't fall down.

"So... new memories..."

Clarence nodded, feeling a cool wave of relief wash down most of his shyness. This guy got it. Still, it was weird, but he had a feeling this was going to start becoming the new norm for him.

He chuckled a bit, relaxing even further as he glanced back to the kennels with the littlest kitten in them. "Man, do I know the feeling. I think I should just keep to my own cat for now."

Without prompting, Clarence took out his phone and swiped over to some pics of Cheddar. The three year old orange tabby male was rolled over on his back, exposing his white belly to the camera with his eyes closed in comfort. "This is Cheddar. I just got him, like, two weeks ago. I don't think I can get another one, but it's tempting."

"Anakin - he's another one of us - and I are working hard to make some alternative arrangements for a meeting location. We just need to make sure everyone hears about it, without cluing the Bureau in. Would you be comfortable with me having your phone number or email address?" He should really focus more on coffee, maybe, but this is important.

Anakin needed to get more confident on skates, period, and turning was a better way to do that than trying to build going straight without confidence, but he wasn't going to argue right now.

"Yeah. I got... a large chunk of them. They started before I met you, and carried through. Looks like that memory of us training together is about the end of them."

Anakin was getting better at going forward, marginally.

"Is that why you've been avoiding the park?"

"Ah, bien sûr." She dug around in her purse for her phone.

"This makes me wonder..." she said idly, "... if the network could be hacked?"

He glanced over his shoulder to make sure the shop-clerk wasn't taking interest in their conversation. "That IS a lot of information to take in." Aliens. Space travel. That opened up a whole new narrative for these memories. The level of improbability was growing, and yet...they had to consider the possibility that something about them could be authentic. "So you weren't on Earth? Do you know where you were?"

He kept watching Clarence and picking up both his comfort with the subject of his cat and attention on the kittens and went with that. It was easier and less threatening than anything about memories for a first meeting.

He looked at the phone and smiled at the pictures of the cat. "I like his name and he looks really comfortable for only having had him a couple of weeks. One cat for now's probably smart all around, but who knows. Maybe he'd like some company when you're both more settled with each other?"

HE wasn't joking about being tempted but his cat was - well. Cattitude.

He went backward, out of Anakin's way but not too far away. "It's why I've been avoiding anything that leaves me room to think, but yeah some of it's the memories of you and all those complicated emotions that aren't mine."

"Naboo. Tatooine. Coruscant." His tone is soft but absolutely, totally, dryly amused. "Nowhere I've ever heard of existing before. Nothing that I believe could have existed in the past." It's confusing and frustrating in the extreme.

"I have no idea," he admitted, startled by the question. He looked up from his own phone. "Maybe? Are you thinking that makes it more likely to be used against us or... some way to make it more secure for us?"

See, this guy got it. Latching onto a safe topic to start was always the best way to keep things comfortable when talking with a teenager. Clarence was relaxing by the moment, happy to divulge into the details with Ben.

"I didn't name him but it was too perfect to change, even after I was told I could after the adoption." He flipped through a few more pics, several of which had Cheddar in various stages of relaxed. "He's just a big, cuddly baby."

Clarence shrugs. "I doubt I'd be allowed another cat for a while, but maybe." He glanced up at Ben, curious. "Do you have pics of yours?"

"More secure for us," Bitterblue said, still a bit far away in thought.

"Hacking in is the difficult part, encryption is easy."

She looked back up at Obi-Wan, because she was short and everyone was taller than she was.

"I work in cybersecurity and cryptology. A program to give us privacy is not difficult in theory."

"Maybe..." Anakin said, but then he paused because he was concentrating on skating.

"Maybe think about it like... when you have a normal dream, and in it someone does something that, like... makes you mad. And then you wake up mad. That feeling is the dream's feeling. What do you think?"

Coruscant certainly sounded like a name one might give a star, but the rest were just... odd science fiction places, like the kind of thing from old black and white television shows with lots of shiny Jetson-esque costumes.

And that was the problem, wasn't it? By believing these were past lives, they were forced to consider this bizarre ancient aliens scenario where these planets and space travel were all in the past.

"That does open up a whole host of issues with our previously held understanding. What do you think it means?"

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say during the week

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Re: say during the week

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Sunday at the pet shop~

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Re: Sunday at the pet shop~

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